Recently, I received some advice to the effect of "Just dive in and go for it." Now, I'm of the opinion that this only works when faced with a leap from an airplane at 30,000 feet or in choking down medicine. Oddly, this advice was issued with this caveat: "But, you see where it got me . . . ."
It is one thing to dive in for that good night kiss when you're pretty sure the other person is just waiting for you to make the first move. It's another to push a relationship to a new level when you're not sure where it's supposed to go.
Besides that, why should I take advice that has clearly not played out well for the person issuing it? I agree that relationships can be over "thunk" and we can analyze every little look, grunt, and omission to the Nth degree until we are more confused than when we started. I think it is important to go with what feels right. But, that brings me to the point of this blog, which is that we are so out of practice that trusting our gut is a scary, and often poor, prospect.
Is it really a smart move to "dive in and go for it," or should we be more measured in our approach to human relations? Is reckless abandon the way to conquer that ever elusive love? Or, does that bring doom and destruction to a burgeoning romance and quash it before it has a chance to flourish? Can we really adopt the it's better to apologize than ask permission mantra in matters of the heart?
I honestly don't have the answer to that. I've tiptoed through the field of landmines. I've been like a bull in a china shop. I can't say one approach has worked better than another. Perhaps each situation calls for a unique approach and the only way to know is trial and error; although, it would be nice not to have to screw up a potentially good thing just to find out if you're handling it the right way.
What are your thoughts? Diver down? Tread water? Sink or swim? I'm running out of nautical metaphors, so let's have your contribution.
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