Return to Sender

I believe everyone, at some point in their lives has fallen for someone who didn't return the feelings. Whether you were just more invested in the relationship than they were or you admired them from afar, never even landing on their radar, it is one of the most painful experiences imaginable. It makes you question everything about who you are. Even the most self-confident, attractive, accomplished people wonder: What is wrong with me? Why am I not good enough?

While I was visiting LA -- the land of the beautiful people -- I was tempted with feelings of inferiority and unattractiveness. In a world where image is so important and people spend so much money not only to ward off aging, but to manicure themselves into this false notion of beauty, it can be difficult not to ask those same questions. However, I took a really close look around me and the majority of the people there are really quite average. And all of them, even the "perfect" ones, have flaws and insecurities that can't be overcome.

I ended up in a conversation with my sister-in-law (who, incidentally, is one of those women you hate because she is naturally beautiful inside and out--truly one of the most amazing people I know, darn her!). We were talking about all the super-models and gorgeous actresses who either cheat or have been cheated on. It initially makes you think, Wow! If they can't hang on to their partner, what chance to do any of us regular Joes have? Then you have to look at who these men/women are cheating with. They aren't necessarily upgrades. That just goes to show you that it really has so little to do with looks. It is usually about some other need that isn't being met. I closed the conversation by saying that cheating is either a defect in the cheater or a defect in the cheatee, something missing from the relationship that has nothing to do with physical appearance.

So, I guess what I'm saying in all of this is that so often we are too quick to jump to the assumption that there is something wrong with us if we fail to attract someone, believing we are inferior. The truth is, being prettier, skinnier, more popular, wealthier isn't necessarily the key. It's about making the right connection with the right person. If that other person isn't interested or committed, it is rarely about how you look. You just have to accept that for whatever reason they are the wrong one for you, no matter how right they may feel in the moment. That's never an easy thing to accept. But, learning how to look past the swarm of emotions and hormones just might allow you to see the person out there who is right and is waiting for you with baited breath.

Even Elvis was shot down a time or two. Enjoy!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z54-QHEZN6E