It's the Little Things

About twenty years ago I found a book called "10,000 Things to Be Happy About" by Barbara Ann Kipfer. I made a practice of keeping a copy around that I could give to someone when it seemed they might be in need of such a thing. It's exactly how it sounds. It's a list of 10,000 things that make the author happy; everything from puppy breath to lichen to baby oil to fast-food meal toy collecting and everything in between. Some of them are the typical things that prompt those warm fuzzies for most people. Some of them are very particular to her. The reason I gave this book away was because I always felt it was good to be able to find gratitude even in the darkest of hours. This book was a point of inspiration so they could begin to find their own happy things.

I know this is a rather Pollyanna-esque attitude, but it works. It is so easy to become self-absorbed when you are licking wounds that it's hard to find your way out. Gratitude for the little things is one way to start the journey back. It allows you to see things with a fresh perspective, to realize most things aren't as insurmountable as they seem, to discover the things in life that matter. It puts things in their proper place.

I think the same approach is necessary for relationships. We forget to show gratitude for the little things. We neglect to do small acts of kindness for those we love. We take so much for granted that we can't remember that we aren't really entitled to any of it. It's all a gift. When was the last time you told your partner how much they mean to you on a day that wasn't a nationally appointed holiday? How long has it been since you just hugged your friend because you could? What if you started telling your child every day how proud you are to be their parent, not because of their good grades or sports accomplishments, but just because you are glad to know them?

Start keeping a list of the little things that make you happy and you just might find there is this weird feeling creeping in that could overtake and consume you. It's called joy. It's also known as contentment. Maybe it could even be peace. Those are things in short supply these days. Life is too short to exist in turmoil. Find something to be happy about, even if it's just a really good cup of coffee -- which, of course, for coffee addicts is no small thing!

I have many happinesses, but stopped making a list a long time ago. I think I will get back on that. At the top of my list will be my favorite quote from the book:

"Let me bring lollipops and confetti and silly things and place them at your feet."

The reason I like this so much is it's about serendipity -- the gift of finding pleasant things unsought (also defined as inner peace) -- and then sharing that which is serendipitous with someone else. I like the word, the concept of serendipity so much it was my first tattoo nearly two decades ago.

I had forgotten about the above quote for many years and several months ago I went looking to find it again to no avail. While I was in the shower tonight it crept back up from the recesses of my brain and resonated so clearly it was as if someone whispered it in my ear. I'd say that's pretty serendipitous, wouldn't you? With that, I give you the newly resumed list (in progress):

my light-green warm and fuzzy bathrobe that I forgot was in my closet

a day when my To Do List gets done

those rare moments when my teenage son thinks i'm cool

ranunculus

the way my friends feel at home in my home

brand-spankin new school supplies

the perfect bite (of food)

being validated in my work

good, stimulating conversation

the first bit of pressure from a massage that lets you know they know what they're doing

feeling smart

a cold drink of water after a fierce workout

snuggling

driving with the lid open playing roadtrip music perfection

painted toenails in every color of the rainbow (and some that don't occur in nature)

a long awaited album from a favorite musician

warm buttered bread

lists . . .