Enjoy the Silence

Amidst the clatter, the whirl, and the buzz of the cicada infestation it can be difficult to formulate a thought. I heard on the news yesterday that the decibel level generated by one of these little creatures (almost 90 decibels) can be almost as loud as the average lawn mower. When was the last time you had a pleasant conversation while cutting the grass? The sound permeates walls, windows, and doors. It drowns out everything else. It is obnoxious and intrusive.

So can be the incessant chatter of someone who needs to fill the air with noise. Nervous chatter not only compromises your ability to really engage in conversation with someone and hear what they have to say, it also prevents that inner voice from speaking to you when you need to receive that instinctual guidance.

Recently, I was on a car trip with a friend and I encouraged them to lean back and rest during the drive. It was nice to feel comfortable enough with someone not to feel the need to make idle conversation just for the sake of filling a void. It was nice to know that we were enough at ease in one another's company that we didn't HAVE to talk, that there was no void to fill. Not that we don't have plenty to say when we want to.

If you are now remembering the incredibly awkward scene from "When Harry Met Sally" where they had nothing to say after their night together and tried to rationalize it as a good thing, don't mistakenly equate the two. You will know when the silence is out of lack of communication or truly from comfort and compatibility. Also, you'll know because you won't feel the need to clarify that everything is okay even though you aren't talking.

To me, true intimacy is having everything under the sun to talk about, and choosing not to just so you can enjoy the other person's presence. If you can be quiet and be still with someone, there are loads of things that can actually pass between you.

With that, I'm going to stop my chattering and let you enjoy the silence.