But It Won't Keep You Warm At Night . . .

I saw an article today reporting that scientists are studying the effects of Facebook usage on our release of the hormone Oxytocin -- the "cuddle hormone." It seems we are experiencing a spike in the hormone when we log on and engage in the various activities and services social networking provides. This hormone is linked to all the "feel good" sensations we experience, from increased kindness to orgasm.

The article explained that "the hormone is heightened in a variety of behaviors that involve people connecting with one another." Hmmm. Well, we are connected, even though it's through a 1/2 inch cable with a bunch of wires which work in mysterious ways we can't begin to comprehend.

I wrote a blog recently about the limitations of connecting through social media and how it is stunting our ability to really relate on an inter-personal level. I experienced that first-hand recently. I encountered someone I know, but interact with mostly online, and found them to be incapable of talking about anything but the latest posts. I am all for using something like that as a conversation starter, but when you can't talk about anything but what had transpired on Facebook, there are some serious restrictions on your social interaction skills.

We all need a little assistance now and then to get a conversation going, but we shouldn't need help navigating the whole process. I think this is due to the comfort we find in instantaneous ease of IMs and wall postings. Conversation is fragmented -- hell, it's not even technically conversing since the definition is "an oral exchange of sentiments, observations, opinions, or ideas." It's not that these exchanges can't happen electronically. But, when we receive the same stimulation from an online chat as we once did from a hug, there is something wrong.

The truth is, I don't think this is accurate. I don't believe we do receive the same satisfaction or gratification from these dehumanized forms of communication. It's just that we aren't getting enough of the real thing, so it stands to reason that any stimulus is going to register. When you deprive yourself of sugar, artificial sweeteners taste good and real sugar puts you over the moon.

Yes, I know this analogy has it's problems, such as tooth decay and diabetic coma, but you get my point. We can learn to live with the substitutes and even convince ourselves they are just as good, but the reality is they will never be as satisfying as the real thing. In fact, studies also show that because we convince ourselves we are doing well by using the fake stuff we can have a little more. We end up consuming more fat or salt to replace the missing sugar or more sugar to replace the missing fat, nevermind the exposure to all the unnatural chemicals. Having just a little of the real thing would satiate that need so much more than a vat of the (fill in the blank)-free stuff.

I guess what I'm saying is we can get the warm-fuzzies from seeing the inbox fill-up or having someone "Like" a post, but how does that really take the place of a pat on the back, holding hands, or an embrace? In case you have been lulled into that complacency, the answer is: It doesn't. My laptop is basically attached to my hip, but I wouldn't snuggle up with it at night. Neither should you. Go hug someone today.

(Disclaimer: Use common sense, and should you choose to hug a stranger, the writer of this blog is not responsible for any undesirable outcome. Further, if you have a restraining order against you in place, please do not violate said order by attempting to hug others.)