Charlie's Angels

I think it was Margaret Cho who said in her stand-up routine that whenever three girlfriends are together, the Charlie's Angel principle applies. That means you will always find the smart one, the sweet one, and the whore. I may be sketchy on the origin of this concept, but I'll never forget the response of my friend when we heard this. She eagerly started around the room, "So she's the smart one, you (meaning me) are the sweet one, and . . . oh, wait! That makes me the whore!"

Though she was more than a little deflated at that realization, I don't think it's that big a deal. The truth is every woman has a little of each in her. One might be more pronounced in a given scenario or at a particular stage in life. In fact, I'd say the one that is dominant will probably determine the state of your romantic life at the time. And, it's only when you reach the point that you can fully embrace the trinity that you are truly yourself.

Allow me to make some sweeping generalizations and gross stereotypes for a moment to make a point.

The "Smart One," well, we know she is going to intimidate the hell out of every man. It will be hard for her to find someone compatible who will measure up to her expectations, keep up with her, and not feel emasculated.

The "Sweet One" will either fall victim to a series of bad relationships because she won't stand up for herself, or she won't date at all because she isn't capable of asserting herself to grab someone's attention.

The "Whore." Do we really have to go any further? Obviously, we can recite the "milk-cow-free" warning, but, honestly, what woman wants to be compared to a cow, even the ones with little self-respect, and when has it ever really worked?

So, my point is, when you allow yourself to be one-dimensional, you run the risk of being categorized, reduced to a cliche, and have assumptions applied to you. None of us, even if we lean to one type or another, is so simply defined. We all have layers -- upbringing, personal experiences, environmental factors -- that make us more than what we appear on the surface, something beyond the label of "smart," "sweet," or "slut."

The truth is, I think we all imagine being able to be a little more of one or the other that we don't think we embody. These terms actually characterize us unfairly. Being smart is not a bad thing, but what if you were called savvy instead? Having people say you are sweet isn't an insult, but what if they chose the word endearing? A whore gets a bit of a bad rap, but what if the alternative was coquettish?

On the playground, we chose for ourselves, or were assigned a role when playing "Charlie's Angels." You might have been Kelly when you really wanted to be Jill. Or maybe Sabrina was your idol, but someone else got her, so you were stuck with Kris. As adults, it is important to realize, you should be the one to decide who you are, which Angel you identify with most, and when you can transition between them.

Remember: they were a team and no mission was successful without all their talents put to work in unison.