Disclaimer

I was talking with my best friend the other day about my blog. She had been reading some of the entries and commented that it is a little ironic that I would be blogging about relationships. She's right. It is ironic. You see, I've never actually had what you would call a "romantic relationship." I've dated . . . a little. I've . . . well, there's really no tactful way to say what I've done more frequently.

In high school, I was the gal pal. In college, I learned there were apparently a few guys who were interested but thought I was dating someone (a specific, scary someone) and didn't pursue me (out of fear for their safety). It wasn't long after I really started "getting out there" I ended up pregnant, which brought the whole thing to a screeching halt for me. My son's father and I weren't even dating. We did try to live together when I figured out I was pregnant. That lasted about four months.

I spent the next 3 years focused on making sure my child survived his heart condition, then focused on making sure we survived period. When he started school, so did I. I dove into finishing my education and starting my career. Life has this tendency to take over and set your priorities for you.

So, here I am 15 years later and I have re-entered this rat race with a seriously long hiatus to make me even MORE out of practice. Maybe some would argue that means I have no business talking to you about relationships. Perhaps. But, I do know this: I may not have left a sea of boyfriends in my wake. I may not have a 20 year partnership under my belt. BUT, I have had relationships with people, and there's really not much that's different in the long run.

Another friend of mine shared with me the other day that a friend of his made a comment about how we have this tendency to dismiss relationships we've ended as bad ones, as failed attempts. He asked why is it that we can't view them as good for the time they were good. It's a valid thought. We can all take away something from every experience, every relationship. Don't be so quick to write it off as a waste of time. Learn something from it that you can apply to the next one.

I believe that is also true for every type of relationship we have. Maybe I haven't been a girlfriend, wife, lover. But, I have been a daughter, a sister, a mother, a colleague, a friend, and in most cases, fairly successful at all of them. All of that is the foundation for what we bring to the table in romantic relationships. We learn about communication, trust, compromise, and love through these relationships. We just take it to an even more intimate level when we date or marry or co-habitate.

I've also learned how to be a good observer and listener. I've gleaned a lot from the successes and failures of my friends and loved ones. So, here's the important thing: I'm not purporting to be an expert on relationships. Far from it! I'm just a girl making observations, sharing thoughts and musings, hoping that some of what I've taken in, assimilated, and processed over my 40 years will end up being useful, or at least food for thought.

Thanks for your continued interest in my little experiment here. I hope you find this journey with me worth your time. Maybe we'll stumble across some answers together.